Wilson’s Loping Neckbeard

Armor Class: 6                                        Hit Points: 65
Movement in Spaces: 10
Radiation Resistance: 15                Constitution: 18
Mental Resistance: 3                         Strength: 17
Dexterity: 12
Defect: Diminished Senses (Sight), Mental Defenselessness.
Mutations: Heightened Hearing, Heightened Smell, Marsupial, Leaper, Taller, Out-Sized Body Parts (Neck), Quadrupedal.

A domesticated Wilson’s Loping Neckbeard serving as a mount for a Psychic Goldfish wearing  a Self-Contained Humanoid Environment & Exploration Apparatus. Notice the electrified prod.

Appearance: While they retain a superficially human appearance, Wilson’s Loping Neckbeards range between 20 feet long (males) and 16 feet long (females). Their skin colors range the full spectrum of a normal human, as well does their hair color, though they are commonly found shaven if domesticated. In the wild, they are known for the luxurious manes that hang from the bottoms of their supple necks. These manes are prized by some tribes for the decoration of ceremonial garb and can be traded for valuable items.

Loping Neckbeards have squinty, nearly useless eyes, which they make up for with their broad noses and large ears. They are constantly heard huffing and snorting in their herds. They move by long loping strides, hence their name. An unmistakable arrhythmic beat heard across the plains is the sound of a herd of loping neckbeards brought on by their gangly, mutant forms.

Normal Reaction: As a herd “animal,” Loping Neckbeards are fairly easy to startle and once one member of the herd notices an approaching creature, the awareness sweeps through all of them in a matter of seconds. They can usually smell a creature from 100 yards away. Otherwise, they are fairly docile creatures and will graze for hours and frolic unless disturbed. They are highly protective of their young and the younger males, who’ve yet to fully develop their manes will commonly taunt predators and if they can, kill them. The larger male neckbeards are sluggish and will laze in the deepest shadows they can find for hours. Their manes are the most highly prized.

Terrain: Loping Neckbeards can be found in open plains where they are constantly in a state of migration. They have been known to rampage farmlands from time to time, as well. A variety of Neckbeard called the Abominable Cave Neckbeard is rumored to exist but no evidence of this subterranean creature has yet been discovered beyond the tales of travelers coming back from the dark recesses between decks where they find nests filled with empty Universal Food Paste tubes and excrement similar to that of a normal Neckbeard of the plains. It is speculated that these Cave Neckbeards might actually be older males driven from the herd due to the tremendous amount of food they eat.

Attacking: The main form of attack these creatures have is to wallop an enemy with their large fists, though they will commonly flee when threatened by any collective show of force. This attack will deal 3d6 damage if it connects. Loping Neckbeards have also been known to strangle predators with their hands if they’re able to get a grip and even lob stones.

Procreating: Mating is a difficult and complicated process for Wilson’s Loping Neckbeards. The females appear to have a strong aversion to the males that defies any reproductive logic (another odd effect of the Space Radiation Cloud), so the males are driven not by the use of any force, but by engaging in an elaborate courtship ritual wherein the courting male will persistently follow the female and bellow until she finally allows him to mount her, sometimes months later, and after which point the male will collapse into a torpor. Neckbeards gestate for around 9 months and are carried in their mothers’ pouches for 3 more months before they are forced out. Another behavior specific to the males is the tendency to attempt to stay in their mothers’ pouch far longer than they need and once out, they will again and again attempt to climb back inside, even after they have outgrown the pouch.

–Billy Longino